Saturday, May 24, 2008 ; 8:05 AM
Okays, I know it's stupid. But I just can't control my emotion. And tears just tricked down.
But what's the use ? :/
The goal is just infront of me, my aims, my future.
Everybody has different approach to reach our goals. Then tell me, is my method(?) wrong ?
I put in effort. Nobody recognize it. Maybe, not yet enough.
So I only can put in double times millons effort next time, so that my hard work could pay off and people recognize it.
And people would not scold me stupid and thinking that I whld never reach my goals, and look down on me.
Please lah. Get a life -.-
I know, it only depends on me, up there in my mind. The mental.
I know, it's my future. Not my parents, teachers, friends and so on.
So, I can only blame on myself. Those efforts, hard work blahblahblah.
Got back results, stayed calmed. And kept telling people I will work hard next time.
Say I will like start work the next week and whatsoever.
Yeah, lies. Bcos I dont even have the determination.
Get so easily distracted. Know I'm short of time, but keep lieing to myself that tmr study also can.
Tmr, tmr, tmr and tmr. How many tmr had I wasted ? Many, I suppose.
I had been slacking since like sec3 ?
Thinking that O'lvl they will moderate our results.
Thinking that I wont so sway to fail any subjects.
Thinking that if I chiong I can get good grades.
Thinking that I could even be get single points -.-
Thinking that this school's standard is way higher than O'lvl so that I whld get better grades during O's.
Yeah, those thoughts. So unrealistic.
Actions speak louder than words.
I know, I know !
I keep saying I want to score A1 for Chinese, or else I will retake it.
But I aint putting any effort. I had been rotting at home and slacking this week.
Ytd, took out notes and study, and realised actually Chinese has so much to study.
Felt so stressed up out of the sudden, was worried I chldnt finished those notes.
I felt I let my parents down. Communication breakdown ? :/
But what's the use that I keep rant all my feelings here and not doing something to help.
Eh, no hor. I'm not like want people to pity me and gain attention lor. I'm not like her lor -.-
Aiyah, whatever lah. I really dont know what's wrong with me.
The person to beat is not infront, but inside.
Come on !
STUDYYYYYY !
And I can get anything I want ?
But what's the use ? :/
The goal is just infront of me, my aims, my future.
Everybody has different approach to reach our goals. Then tell me, is my method(?) wrong ?
I put in effort. Nobody recognize it. Maybe, not yet enough.
So I only can put in double times millons effort next time, so that my hard work could pay off and people recognize it.
And people would not scold me stupid and thinking that I whld never reach my goals, and look down on me.
Please lah. Get a life -.-
I know, it only depends on me, up there in my mind. The mental.
I know, it's my future. Not my parents, teachers, friends and so on.
So, I can only blame on myself. Those efforts, hard work blahblahblah.
Got back results, stayed calmed. And kept telling people I will work hard next time.
Say I will like start work the next week and whatsoever.
Yeah, lies. Bcos I dont even have the determination.
Get so easily distracted. Know I'm short of time, but keep lieing to myself that tmr study also can.
Tmr, tmr, tmr and tmr. How many tmr had I wasted ? Many, I suppose.
I had been slacking since like sec3 ?
Thinking that O'lvl they will moderate our results.
Thinking that I wont so sway to fail any subjects.
Thinking that if I chiong I can get good grades.
Thinking that I could even be get single points -.-
Thinking that this school's standard is way higher than O'lvl so that I whld get better grades during O's.
Yeah, those thoughts. So unrealistic.
Actions speak louder than words.
I know, I know !
I keep saying I want to score A1 for Chinese, or else I will retake it.
But I aint putting any effort. I had been rotting at home and slacking this week.
Ytd, took out notes and study, and realised actually Chinese has so much to study.
Felt so stressed up out of the sudden, was worried I chldnt finished those notes.
I felt I let my parents down. Communication breakdown ? :/
But what's the use that I keep rant all my feelings here and not doing something to help.
Eh, no hor. I'm not like want people to pity me and gain attention lor. I'm not like her lor -.-
Aiyah, whatever lah. I really dont know what's wrong with me.
The person to beat is not infront, but inside.
Come on !
STUDYYYYYY !
And I can get anything I want ?
date: 27June, 10.30pm.
mood: hen fan ahhhh!.
listening: You are not alone ; MJ
random: i dont wanna screw up my MST.