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Wednesday, November 12, 2008 ; 8:33 PM

I felt like a bitch, I was not honest abt my feelings. I knew the feeling was no longer there but yet I'm still holding on to it. For what, I dont knw. Maybe, I just dont like to let ppl leave me uh. But I dont understand. I seriously dont. We had never even started at the beginning, there's shldnt be any bad ending I suppose? Yes, I tried to save back that awkward relationship. Had I succeed, I dont knw. But you made me felt as if it was my fault. I felt as if you are pushing all the blame to me. Yes, I admit my attitude towards you had changed. I became colder towards you. This was not what I wanted. I wanted us to be able to talk as much as we can like then. But somehow I felt guilty, for what I'm supposed to feel right now. If I were to tell you the truth, will you still trust me? Are you still willing to talk to me? But we'd never even started, that's the main thing. You didnt even try to confess abt your feelings. I hate this, seriously. I hate guys. I hate guys who keep saying and do nth abt it. Actions speak louder than words. Do you even rmb what you had promised me this year? But you didnt compromise AT ALL. Even though I said it's okays, dont you knw that I still keep thinking abt it once in a while? After all what had happened then, I was afraid. I knw history is repeating. I'm trying to learn from my mistakes. But you dont understand! Not at all. What you expect me to do now? You dont understand me. How am I supposed to cont and communicate w you?
I want to cont to talk to you. As much as I can. But we kept running out of topics for the past few weeks. Friends, still can talk isnt it? Then I shall say it. It's better to be friends. For now, and maybe even in the future. If you think that you cant be "friends" w me anymore, be it. There's nth I can do. And maybe this can make be see more clearly what kinda of guy you are. Friends, wont just come and go. I wont, but will you?