Just for laughs! I'm boring uh.


The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.
Dad: People, this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company's mobile.
Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones.



One day an elephant met a camel.
Elephant asked, "Why your neh neh (Breast) grow at your back?"
Camel angry, said, "Why don't you ask yourself why your "ku ku jiao" (Penis) grow on your face?"



A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."



I love this the most! Clever woman! Haha.

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.
Just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.
So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband!"
She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian. I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him.
"You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!?
"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."
Never Underestimate The Intelligence of a Woman.



A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She blamed her maid in front of her husband.
The maid replied: " Sir! you should know very well I don't wear any underwear!"



A man calls the hospital. He shouts into the receiver, "You gotta send some help, and fast! My wife's going into labor!"
The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"
"No!" he shouts back. "This is her husband!"



Cool huh? I found alot of yellow ones, but I guess I shldnt blog abt those. Lol!
Okay la, one last one, which was quite... LOL.

A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the Pharmacist, "I want one condoms with pesticides on it. Where do I find 'em?"
The pharmacist replied, "Oh sir, you must mean that you want the condoms with SPERMICIDE, not pesticide. They're on aisle 4."
"No, no, I want me them that condoms with PESTICIDE on it," growled the farmer.
"Sir," said the pharmacist, exasperated from explaining, "PESTICIDE is for killing insects, SPERMICIDE is for killing sperm. I'm sure that you mean spermicide instead of pesticide."
"Listen here, " argued the farmer, "I want condoms with PESTICIDE on it, my wife's got a bug up her ass, and I aim to kill it."